"Connecting Pastors Who Are Hurting With People Who Care"
"Connecting Pastors Who Are Hurting With People Who Care"

                    Grief and Mourning

 

Grief is what you think and feel inside when someone you loves dies. It’s the numbness, sadness, anger, regret, all rolled up into one. It’s the pain in your gut and a hole in your chest.  Printable Version link at the bottom of this article.

 

Mourning is expressing your grief, letting it out somehow. You mourn when you cry, talk about the death, write about it, or punch something.

 

Everybody grieves inside when someone they love dies. But people who mourn really heal and move on to live and love fully again, constantly remembering and cherishing the values their loved one has given to them. It is a journey, each one moving at his/her own pace, in his/her own way, different from one another.

 

 

6 Needs of Mourning:

 

  1. Accept the reality of death.
  2. Let yourself feel the pain of the loss.
  3. Remember the person you lost.
  4. Develop a new self-identify.
  5. Search for meaning.
  6. Let others help you, now and always.

 

 

40 Practical ideas to deal through the mourning process:

 

  1. Tell the story over and over again if you need to.
  2. Keep a journal of your feelings and thoughts.
  3. Keep a memento of the person who died.
  4. Keep the promises to yourself.
  5. It is okay to let yourself feel numb—it’s natural for a time.
  6. Live your life in slow-mo.
  7. Let go of destructive myths such as “Tears are a sign of weakness”, “Be strong and carry on”, “You need to get over your grief”, “We don’t talk about death”, etc.
  8. Move toward your grief, not away from it.
  9. Don’t expect yourself to mourn in a certain way or like someone else.

10.Know that your relationship was unique.

11.Cry.

12.Laugh with friends.

13.Don’t let others get to you.

14.Take it easy on yourself.

15.Drink lots of water, eat the right types of food, and try to get enough sleep.

16.Release your anger in safe ways.

17.Contribute a gift to the family that will last forever.

18.Go to favorite places and speak out to the person who has died as if he/she is there.

19.Take a mission or volunteer to do something in memory of him/her.

20.Do something fun, dedicate it to the one you lost.

21.Know the person you lost is with you in spirit.

22.Try to do something to improve yourself.

23.Do something the person who died liked to do.

24.Go for a long drive.

25.Buy a plant to nurture.

26.Listen to music.

27.Pray.

28.Get a pen pal.

29.Write a letter to the person who died. (you can do this in your journal)

30.Visit the cemetery.

31.Make a poster or draw a picture in memory of the lost loved one, place it at the cemetery.

32. Share the memories.

33.Ignore helpless or hurtful advice.

34.Reach out and touch.

35.Identify your needs, then ask for help.

36.Turn to your friends and family for support.

37.Do not turn to harmful substances, such as drugs or alcohol.

38.Know that you are loved and have a purpose to live.

39.Make plans, set goals, keep busy with small day-to-day chores.

40.Understand healing comes slowly, in increments.
 

Printable Version
Difference Between Grief Mourning.doc
Microsoft Word document [27.5 KB]

DISCLAIMER:  The contents in this article does not make you a professional counselor or therapist.  You may have to seek professional help for those you serve.

Copyright © 2017  Pastoral Care Inc. All Rights Reserved. All material is intended for individual use only. Any other use, such as distribution, promoting one's ministry or adding to websites, is prohibited unless written permission granted by Pastoral Care Inc.  



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