This topic may be very graphic and controversial to many religious circles.  It is one of the most difficult articles we have ever written and researched.  This subject matter covers a very real and perverse sin that seems to be sweeping over America.  Many churches and denominations have avoided the reality of pornography in the past but is becoming more aware of its grip on our society as well as our members.  The subject of masturbation and how it is linked in many cases to pornography has been a taboo topic.  Due to the reality of this huge issue, we are attempting to link and share this important subject, even though it may be repulsive and not be popular in most circles. 

Our desire is to equip our pastors and leaders, whether they are facing this issue themselves or helping one of their members.  It is always important to have the right type of information to deal with the appropriate subject.

How To Know If You Have A problem with Pornography Addiction

Pornography addiction is as powerful as any other addiction and sometimes seems even greater due to its “secret life”.  Other addictions have adverse consequences that may be visibly seen, such as alcohol, drugs, or over eating.  Pornography is nevertheless a very destructive addiction that affects the lives and families of about 50% of people in America.  Pornography destroys a person’s position spiritually, destroys the very fiber of marriage and fidelity, and carries guilt and shame to the addictive person as well as those surrounding them.  Too often, the real reason why people continue with this addiction is they feel they can get by with it, blinding and justifying oneself into sinful acts.

It is very difficult in being able to identify those who are addicted to pornography.  They will look like most everyone else and comes from every background, race, and socioeconomic background.  There are some signs that may lead someone to suspect someone who actually has an addiction and/or whether you may feel you are addicted.  Listed below are a few of these:

• Increased time on the internet. 
• Immediately getting off or closing screen when one comes near.
• Acting defensive or very irritable when questioning them.
• Obsessive thoughts about what you may be viewing or increased activity during each day.
• Increased guilt of being found out.
• A change of intimacy or alienation from one’s spouse.
• Increased arousal and satisfaction when viewing.
• Denial of severity when caught or blames others for their need to view.

Most people when caught denies, becomes sneakier, does little to nothing to solve this problem, and will keep on doing immoral acts because their drive is to satisfy their needs and immediate gratification. 

Nothing ever good comes from having a pornography addiction.  This addiction crushes people!  It will hurt more people than you could ever imagine, cost you more than you expected, and will totally consume you.  Too many people have stated they can overcome it by themselves but that is total denial and stupid.  Once caught, you could lose your career, family, close contacts. 

The time to be honest about your addiction is now and help is available.

History and Negative Influences of Pornography

Throughout history, pornography and public display of sexual acts have provided an unhealthy pleasure and attraction to lots of people, both male and female.  Most Christians have pointed to an area in the Bible, Sodom and Gomorrah as to open sinful and sexual behaviors.  There is also the influence of the god Pan, half man and half goat with a flute in his mouth.  The Romans are often viewed as “no holds barred” but they kicked the worship of Pan out from Rome and relocated them to Caesarea Philippi due to its perverse activity.   We now have laws to prevent this openness in the general public but there is an endless supply of materials, videos, and chat rooms to bring that same type of perverted sexual pleasure to people everywhere.  Many audiences can satisfy their fantasies and self-serving desire 24/7 on the internet and satellite TV. 

This is a widespread problem.  People can secretly satisfy their desires and pleasures in the privacy of their rooms.  Parents try to limit computer use or have them not used in their children’s bedrooms but cell phones and notebooks have the same type of access.  One secondary problem with viewing pornographic materials on the internet is that most computers are attacked with viruses that are attached to these same sites and personal information could be compromised or can shut down your computer.

Another issue that is not often discussed with pornography is masturbation.  Masturbating, while watching pornography, can cause serious unfavorable psychological effects. While most may disagree, if it is viewed by a married person, then there is the issue of adultery and infidelity.  This type of fantasy can rob and destroy a relationship and marriage.  Once discovered, a spouse will often ask,“Why was I not good enough to satisfy my spouse or what do they not find attractive about me”?  Younger teens can often have a distorted and inappropriate view of healthy sex. 

The view of sex has been changed through decades from mentioning the word “Sex” on TV or within church circles.  The viewing of sex is quite common place with almost teen stating they have seen pornographic sites accidentally and intentionally. Some statistics report over 90%.  Children having sex in middle and high school ages are rising to 75%.  Some have tried to link pornography to other forms of addictions and crimes.

Pornography and its Gripping Hold

There are some myths and correlations whether children and adolescents viewing pornography and acting out inappropriate sexual behaviors can link to other forms of sex offending.  However, most research of sexual offenders has a strong present and past influence from pornography.  Most children in the younger ages who act out sexually inappropriate may have witnessed illicit sexual acts from adults or TV, or has been in the curious stages of life.  As one becomes older and acts seem to become more sexually intense, some researchers can link pornography as a factor.  But there are still no studies that relate non-violent materials to violence and crimes.  Those exposed to erotic and violent material are more prone to becoming a criminal or a sexual deviant in the future.

There are new community action groups and counseling centers working with the juvenile systems, DHS, and law enforcement to work with reported cases with problematic sexual behavior.  Their goal is to work with children and adolescents, along with parents, to help both become more responsible for their own actions and increase positive parenting skills.  One main area of concern is to eliminate any pornographic materials from the home and access to younger viewers.  Creating an educational base for what is appropriate and inappropriate can help eliminate future consequences.  Most authorities agree that pornography is a problem and can become deeply rooted in early childhood and adolescence. 

There is also a growing trend among young couples who need to become more sexually stimulated through watching porn.  Instead of focusing on the pureness of marriage and creating a tender intimate touching, feeling, and caressing from our mate, there is transference of lust to people on a video or pay for view movie.  This transference robs the intimacy that God intended husband and wife.  The immorality that is displayed in the scenes depicted in pornography makes the values and perspective of the viewers worse. Some experts are suggesting that pornography in these cases somehow kills the essence of love, meaning that one cannot become intimate unless there is some form of pornography.  This is an addiction.  One should be careful in watching pornography because it becomes an obsession that is difficult to overcome.

The Disadvantages of Pornography Addiction

Just as any form of addiction, pornography can reoccur even long after a person feels they are pornography free.  Just like most recovering alcoholics often state, they are a recovering alcoholic.  They understand that they are more susceptible to reoccur and with this in mind, they are on guard and still place safeguards in the lives. 

People who have pornography issues in the past often feel they are safe and are past any future addictions or temptations.  This is a blind trust.  One still needs to place safeguards in their life, home, or office to ensure they are rid of this terrible addiction before one hurts themselves or family members.  It takes a lot of motivation to become pornography free.

Pornography addiction is something we should clearly stay away from.  Most researchers agree that one who has a pornography addiction is someone who is clearly obsessed with sex.  Unless controlled or eliminated, this can also lead to an unhealthy lifestyle that will affect the people around you as well.

Another disadvantage of being addicted to pornography or any other addiction, there is neglect in our family obligations for the sake of sexual fantasies.  A neglect to our family can and will lead to destruction, not only to our spouse but also our children.

Depression, guilt, paranoia and seclusion can lead to additional emotional, relational, and social problems.  It is much better to live in a life of purity, holiness, and happiness than waste it on an addiction that can cause problems, embarrassment, divorce, family destruction. 

Masturbation and is Affects

If you look at the people around you today, you will be surprised to know that most people consider masturbation a normal phenomenon of life, regardless of the dangerous risk it poses.  They do not openly talk about it or seem to realize the affects of over masturbating is changing their life and their priorities.

Most of us know that normal healthy sex is or was considered as a pure and sacred act where both partners fulfilled their needs using each other as the medium. But today’s masturbation act has eliminated the need of a partner and has resorted to solo methods of sexual gratification.  If it is done through mutual foreplay, it often only satisfies one partner.  This solo sex act poses numerous psychological problems and is even condemned by most religious affiliations and it should.  It is considered a sexual imbalance by most pastors and regarded as mortally sinful.

In severe cases of over masturbation, it can exhaust the body thoroughly and brings pain in the lower abdomen, penis and testicles.  When the brain is preparing to masturbate, it releases the excitement hormone dopamine and sends it to be converted into adrenaline. This adrenaline is responsible for the sexual rush in the body and for the pleasure experienced.  However, if excess adrenaline is retained in the body after masturbation, it can cause an uneasy feeling of emptiness.  Over masturbation causes pain and cramps in the joints and also causes depression and anxiety. This can cause long-term mental issues and can also result in erectile dysfunction in men.

Over masturbation is an extreme addiction which cannot be easily cured regardless of the remorse and guilt that the addict goes through daily, but with proper religious guidance, one can seek the door to righteousness.

Stop Masturbation Through Processing
Masturbation is a sexual process by which the person can get sexual pleasure without a partner.  In medical science, masturbation is not a disease and problems may not arise until it hampers your daily life. However, in some cases it can turn into an obsession and that should not be continued.

You need to take steps to stop masturbation if you are addicted to it. The first thing you have to find out is why you masturbate.  This may be because you are bored, lonely, stressed, sexually frustrated or have some sort of sexual problem.  Some people masturbate because they want to escape from something.  If this is the case, find out the thing you wish to escape from.  This may take some time to discover.  If you fail to do so or if you find it hard to identify the problem now, you can opt to undergo various kinds of therapy to help you discover feelings that you are not seeing clearly now.

The next step should be dealing with your feelings.  Most men have a hard time identifying their feelings.  It is a great skill which you may have forgotten because of not practicing it or you may not have learned it yet.  Feelings are the result of our thoughts.  We create our feelings according to the way we interpret the world around us.  So, if you feel unhappy with the things around you, it is up to you to find coping skills to not be so bothered or unhappy about them.  It could be the way we view our job.  Masturbating and pornography are not positive coping skills and will never bring about fulfillment.  We need to have a fresh outlook of who and where we are.   The first area we have to look at is who we are in Christ.  Please refer to our other article regarding Christian Pornography Help. 

Possible Triggers

Psychology provides studies on classical conditioning, being rewarded for doing something. Orgasm and climax during sex or sexual acts, like masturbation, gets its rewards.  Viewing pornography gains arousal, which can often lead to masturbation.  There is also something that is called learned behaviors.  From children throwing a temper tantrum to get a piece of candy to adults doing something to get what they want, this is a normal part of our lives, some appropriate and some inappropriate. 

Look back on your past, especially concerning pornography.  When did you engage in any form of pornographic activity?  How many times each week?  Did the activity increase?  What triggered you to view or engage in this form of activity?  What caused you to masturbate and did this habit keep increasing?  Was it something worthwhile, something you were proud of, or did you have feelings of guilt and shame.  If so, are these feelings the type of type of feelings you wish to have for the rest of your life? 

Triggers are things that happen that cause you to perform a certain behavior.  Many people blame others for making them angry.  One person did something to cause you to do something.  Triggers in addictions often start with the thought process or availability to certain items.  A thought came into your mind as to satisfy a “perceived need” and if not questioned or stopped, you actions will intensify until that act has started or climaxed. 

As with any triggers, one must identify them and place interventions to eliminate the behaviors from moving forward.  To be a Godly person, one must lay aside anything that can separate us from the Lord.  On a natural side, one must identify the triggers, use the interventions that work, and allow us to be the person of who we are and the companion we should be to our spouse.  

Before you can stop pornography or masturbation, you have to identify the triggers and use whatever interventions that can cause you to move or think on something more positive. 

A Simple way to Stop Masturbation

If you are having problems on how to stop masturbating, then you might want to know what simple things you can do to get rid of this immoral act. Stopping something that has been a part of your life for a very long time is very difficult. Like breathing, stopping masturbation can be the cause of certain death to a lot of people. This can really take its toll on a lot of people in which some cases lead to severe depression and alienation. There are many effective ways to stop masturbating. There are various programs like the Overcome Pornography System which helps a lot of people overcome their sexual urges and desires. Using this program will certainly benefit you in a lot of ways. You will become more informed about the things masturbating gives you and what it can do to yourself. Most of all, with this program in hand you can be free from masturbation and live a more positive life as well. Some of the basic steps a person can do in order to stop masturbating is to free yourself from temptation. Avoid watching pornographic materials that can give you the urge to masturbate as well. Getting professional help as well as guidance from your loved ones can certainly be one good option as well. This will give you the right motivation as well as inspiration that can make you free from your hidden sexual desires . In time, this can bring you absolute freedom and more wonderful opportunities that can change your life for the best.

Pornography is Not a Realistic Option

Idle time is the work of the devil.  Look at this example:  You find yourself remembering the adrenaline you had when you saw or walked passed a beautiful woman, perhaps dressed very provocatively with low neck lines, short skirt, and a shapely body.  They may even be a church member kneeling around the church altar.  Imagine your body starting to heat up, and that tingle of excitement is starting to climb throughout your body.  She was very pleasant to the eyes.  Thoughts of infidelity start to creep into your mind.  Instead of ignoring them, you start to entertain them.  If you work in the secular workforce, what about for those who are working around you?  You remember and look forward to see your boss’ secretary wearing something that catches your eye.  Her legs were perfect.  She could be the best reason for leaving your wife.  But going back to reality, these two thoughts are nowhere near reality.

However, you notice your pulse increasing and your breath becoming shallow. You start to have cold sweat.  Some call this the horny entrance to a pornographic act. However, before getting any further with this, do you think is this the path you really want to take?  

This was just an example.  So often, we become tempted and instead of turning our thoughts aside, we may give into lustful thoughts.  This moment in your life is a crossroad moment.  On one crossroad, one faces the reality of knowing right and wrong, turning one’s thoughts aside, not giving into lustful thoughts or future actions.  On the other crossroad one follows a road that leads to satisfying one’s flesh and will lead to destruction, although not admitting it will do any harm this one time.  Once we face this crossroad, we need to slow down and do the right thing.  It is not worth turning to pornography. 

You can spend constructive time to do outside work or household repairs, wash the car, cleanout the garage, do volunteer work, or provide a benevolent act for someone needy.  What about calling your wife and telling her that you and your kids are going to pick her up from work.  You could take the dog to the park and meet up with friends to talk about plans for the coming weekend. These may sound like simple bits of options to keep you busy for a Saturday afternoon, but they definitely are more realistic than giving into impure thoughts or pornography.

Symptoms and Behavioral Problems of a Sex Addict

Sexual addiction is a very destructive addiction where the person is consumed with daily thoughts of sexual images and thoughts.  Some will use pornography as an escape or outlet from work or relationship problems instead of facing them head on.  Sexual addiction drives out all other means of interest from the person’s life and consumes his entire thoughts towards it. The addict is entrapped in thoughts of intercourse or masturbation all day, greatly disrupting his work and lifestyle.

Pornography addiction gives immense pleasure in the beginning, but the person usually becomes guilt-ridden and ashamed after committing it, whether they are masturbating or not.  The addict is miserable, ashamed and has a feeling of emptiness seems to engulf him. He feels a perpetual desire to delve into sexual activity or sex no matter the consequences. His priorities shift and seems narcissistic to doing everything to satisfy his sexual desires and urges, thus putting his relationships in jeopardy.

Sex addiction devours the life of an addict completely.  Indulging in sexual relationships with multiple partners puts him at a daringly high risk of AIDS and HIV.  Sexual addiction is interlinked with other mental disorders such as depression and anxiety.  A sexual addict never experiences the happiness of small occasions and simple things.  It may have started out with a sweet experience, which is very enjoyable at first but never seems to satisfy his sexual drive.  It is like most sins, there is pleasure for a season.  This often secret addiction is usually hidden from family members, forcing one to keep skeletons in the closet until it is too late, costing him and others more than they ever imagined…everything.

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