Ways to Conduct Pre-Marital Counseling

Marriage is one of the most important commitments a person can make. The decision to follow Christ is of course first, but no other decision will have as great an impact on one’s life as marriage. It is important for couples to spend the necessary time planning and equipping themselves for their life together. Full article can be viewed and printed with Word or PDF formats at the links located at the bottom of this page.

With so many marriages failing, a person should not enter into a marriage lightly. There are so many responsibilities and obligations to one another without jumping into a relationship that one may regret later. If a couple is not willing to invest a little time preparing for their life together, chances are they are not willing to be committed to other things. All parties should approach marriage prayerfully, patiently, and honestly.

There are several variables that need to be discussed in the Pre-Marital Counseling session. These can include:

Spiritual Beliefs
Christian Values
Commitment and Expectations
How to Handle Conflict and Solving Problems
Priorities on Career, Children, Money, Hobbies, Future Plans, Friends
A Christian wedding being scared.

Most pastors will not consider pre-marital counseling if the bride and groom are not born-again Christians. Marriage is tough enough without being unequally-yoked.

In order to better serve and provide information for pastors before the actually counseling starts, it is suggested that each couple fill out a questionnaire. Listed below is a sample questionnaire. This can also be printed from this site for your convenience.

After the questionnaire has been submitted, an appointment will be made with the pastor. Most pastors prefer more than one session to allow the counseling process to work as well as to allow the couples to ask additional questions.

Pre-Marital Questionnaire

This questionnaire should be filled out completely and turned in to the church office. After being reviewed, an appointment will be made to meet with a pastor, at this time we will determine whether or not to begin the pre-marriage counseling.

NOTE: We reserve the right to discontinue the counseling and planning process at any time, at our discretion.

*****Both you and your fiancé can complete a questionnaire separately or together, but both must present for the actual Pre-Marital counseling with the pastor.

General Information:

Have you set a tentative date for your wedding? ____ If yes, when?_______________________

Personal Information:

Name: _________________________________________________ Age: _________________

Address:

______________________________________________________________________________

Home Phone: ___________________________ Work Phone: ___________________________

Fiancé’s Name: __________________________________________ Age: _________________

Marital Status:

Have you been married before? ________ If yes, how many times? _______________

If so, for how long? __________

Are you: Divorced _____ Widowed _____ Separated _____

Is your divorce final? _______ If not, why & when? ___________________________________

Do you have children from a previous marriage? ________ If yes, how many? ________

What are their ages? ________________________________________

If you are divorced, what is your custody arrangement? ________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

If divorced, why was your previous marriage terminated? ________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

Engagement Period:

How long have you known each other? _________

How long have you been going together? _________________

How long have you been officially engaged?__ _____________

(We require that you have been dating seriously for at least eight months before we will begin counseling)

What brought you together?
________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

Religious Background:

Are you a Born Again Christian? _____________

Briefly describe what it means to be Born Again: ________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

Do you regularly attend a church? ________

If yes, which one? ______________________________________________________________

For how long and how often? _____________________________________________________

Please answer the following questions as completely yet as briefly as possible. Remember that our goal is to help you prepare for marriage. Please be honest with your responses. Don’t simply write the answers you think we expect.

1. Write a definition of “Love”. ______________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

2. How do you know you “love” your fiancé? ______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

3. How have you prepared for marriage?

Have you read Christian books? _______

If so, please list them. _____________________________________________________

Have you listened to cassette tapes on Christian marriage? _______

If so, please list them. _____________________________________________________

Have you attended any marriage classes? _______

If yes, please describe them. _____________________________________________________

Have your parents ever been divorced or remarried? __________________________________

If so, why?____________________________________________________________________

4. What do you expect to receive from marriage that you cannot have staying single? _________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Give some reasons why you want to marry your fiancé. _________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________

6. List any concerns about marrying your fiance.

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________

7. What do you see as your role in the marriage?

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________

8. What do you see as your mate’s role in the marriage?

_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________

9. With so many marriages failing today, what guarantee will you have that your marriage will remain successful?

________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

10. How do other members of your family feel about your fiance?

________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

11. How do you feel you are accepted by your fiance’s family?

________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________

12. How will you handle conflict or disagreements?

_____________________________________________________________________________

13. Do plan on having children? If so, how many and when?

_____________________________________________________________________________

14. Who will discipline your children and how?

_____________________________________________________________________________

15. Who will handle your finances? If there is differences, how will you handle them?

_____________________________________________________________________________

16. Thoughts and plans for emergency funds (if appliances or emergencies arise).

_____________________________________________________________________________

17. Creating a special time for dating. What plan do you have?

_____________________________________________________________________________

18. What plans do you have to keep your marriage fresh and alive?

_____________________________________________________________________________

19. Sports, TV, shopping, and other boundaries and limitations that can be agreed on?

_____________________________________________________________________________

20. Priorities on purchasing other than using credit cards?

_____________________________________________________________________________

Please Note:

Performance of marriage ceremonies is an accommodation to the body, NOT an obligation. It is understood that entering into pre-marital counseling is NOT an agreement of approval to be married by this pastor or anyone else at this church. We do not claim to be “Professional” Counselors. Our counsel is based solely on God’s Word. Be sure you thoroughly understand our position, before signing below:

I acknowledge that I have read and understand the above, and that all of the information filled in is true and correct to the best of my knowledge.

____________________________________ _____/_____/_____

Signature of future husband                                                       Date

____________________________________                     _____/_____/_____
Signature of future wife                                                             Date

Printable Word Version
Premarital Counseling Form.docx
Microsoft Word document [16.9 KB]

Printale PDF Version
Premarital Counseling Form.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [185.9 KB]

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